De-Lovely: Cole Porter’s
De-Lightful, De-Licious
and very De-SAD Life Story by The Blonde and the Maven
Film Columnists
De-Lovely takes you on the musical life journey
of the extraordinary talented artist, Cole Porter.
Unlike any other story about his life, this one appears
to be factual and complete. De-Lovely begins in Paris
where Porter, played by Kevin Kline (Life is a House,
French Kiss), meets his soon-to-be wife Linda Lee,
played by Ashley Judd (Where the Heart Is, Double
Jeopardy). They immediately fall for one another, and
this attraction leads to a lifetime partnership. Their
true story is a unique and rare commitment of love.
Linda acknowledges his sexuality by uttering the words,
“I know you like men more than I do.” He expresses his
sexual orientation by stating, “I wanted every kind of
love that was available, but I could never find them in
the same person or the same sex.” Linda’s endless
devotion, support and constant protection of Cole made
her unbelievably selfless, and her amazing unconditional
love surprised even Porter. This musical man wrote
beautiful love songs made famous through motion pictures
and musicals. He continued to write music even after a
devastating horse-riding accident crushed his legs,
leaving him in pain for 27 years.
We won’t tell
you about all the sad parts. Go cry for yourselves…The
musical songs are enhanced by performances by today’s
current pop artists: Alanis Morrissette, Elvis Costello,
and Natalie Cole, to name a few.
The
Blonde: This tearjerker film was like Night and Day
meets An American in Paris, and if Audrey Hepburn and
Elton John met, and Love Story… If you spent any time at
all this week feeling sorry or sad about your life,
De-Lovely won’t cheer you up at all! I tearfully enjoyed
it, though. I learned so many interesting things about
Mr. Porter that I never knew. I felt the style in which
his story was told, using flashbacks in a theater and a
circle of time, was so effectively creative.
The
Maven: I was tantalized by the ambiguity…
The
Blonde: What the heck are you saying? What is a big
uity??? And who has one?
The
Maven: Let me finish!!! Ambiguity, of Cole
Porters’ lyrics. Seeing this movie showed all of the
man’s flaws as well as his genius. I also came to
understand that many of his songs were not necessarily
written about the love of a woman.
The
Blonde: I agree. It was wonderful that they took
the viewer into the mind of Porter by showing us the
motivation for each of his songs; how he used his lyrics
as codes for his various lovers. Cole’s lyrics were an
expression of his life as well as his soul.
The
Maven: De-Lovely contained more music than most musical
films, but it flowed naturally. Obviously, Irwin Winkler
was a true Cole Porter fan to include so much of his
music and to choose to direct his life story.
The
Blonde: I feel that Kevin Kline is such an underrated
actor. His acting is skillfully believable and polished,
artistic and inventive, insightful, fine-tuned,
expressive yet not overstated…
The
Maven: So to quote Sally Field, “You like him. You
really, really like him!” To put my feelings a
touch less descriptive, he seemed to be born for this
role.
The
Blonde: You are so pastrami on white bread with
mayo…Didn’t you think that Ashley Judd has an adorable
nose? I wonder if it’s hers?
The
Maven: If it isn’t, than why didn’t she get implants
too?
The
Blonde: You’re asking me??? By the way, isn’t Nelson
Judd her brother?
The
Maven: No, that would be Judd Nelson, but her sister is
the famous country singer, Wynona Judd. Speaking of
Ashley, her performance said so much by saying so
little. Was it the wonderful writing of Jay Cocks or her
brilliant acting?
The
Blonde: Probably both… Maven, didn’t it make you feel a
touch better when they aged Ashley? When they put a lot
of wrinkles under her eyes, sagged her throat, grayed
her hair and she lost her youthful
beauty?
The
Maven: No! Not at all! I think aging is
beautiful…
The
Blonde: Yea, that’s because you are old! But cute! I
thought that using today’s pop stars showed the world
that Cole Porter’s music is timeless.
The
Maven: I disagree! I just can’t imagine rap artists like
Eminem or Snoop Dog singing “It’s De-Lovely!”
The
Blonde: I can! Won’t you just die when it is on their
next CD?…
The
Maven: No, but I will buy them. In closing, if you want
to revisit some amazing music or even if you are hearing
it for the first time, this is the movie to see. Kline
and Judd’s acting is genuine and smooth. There will be
some tears, but they’re well worth it. I rate this film
a B+…
The
Blonde: Some tears? Ladies, wear your waterproof
mascara. I enjoyed this film as well, and also give it a
B+. Bring some throat lozenges and tissues. The crying
gave me a sore throat. Go shopping after. That will
cheer you up…
A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a
Time, Not Even a Fairy Godmother can Rescue a Bad
Remake
This
poor attempt at a modern day Cinderella story, taking an
old classic to fit the times, falls way short. Let’s
just say, “The slipper doesn’t fit…” It all begins
when a little girl named Sam Montgomery, played by
Hilary Duff (The Lizzy McGuire Movie), is being raised
by her adoring father in a perfect, fairytale, happy
existence. Then, dun-da-dun-dunnn…The father marries
this wicked woman named Fiona, played by the fabulously
funny Jennifer Coolidge (Best in Show, Legally Blonde).
Soon after the wedding, on a cold San Diego evening, a
horrible earthquake shakes the city and Sam’s father
dies. Her whole world and existence is shattered. Sam
now finds herself having to endure not only the
horrible, plastic surgery-obsessed, stepmother Fiona,
but the abuse of her two bratty, spoiled, nasty
stepsisters. Without giving away too many details of
how they modernized this version, here are just a few:
The Fairy Godmother, played by Regina King (Jerry
Maguire, Daddy Day Care) is the manager of what used to
be Sam’s father’s Diner until Fiona stole it. The
carriage is a Mercedes. The glass slipper is a cell
phone. The prince is the high school heartthrob and star
football player. The happily-ever-after is getting
accepted to Princeton, the college of her
dreams.
The
Blonde: A Cinderella Story was like Cinderella meets
You’ve Got Mail meets Mean Girls… This trite movie is
well worth not going to see!!! Even the silly
Cinderfella movie, starring Jerry Lewis, was more
original. I should have stayed home and made Martha
Stewart, old-fashioned fudge brownies.
The
Maven: This was a very weak attempt at another nice-girl
treated badly by snotty high school chicks, movie. The
only enjoyment I had was watching Jennifer Coolidge. I
wanted more of her and her over-the-top performance.
Although Chad Michael Murray, the so-called prince, is
great to look at, he’s not big on emoting. Hilary Duff
was… Hilary Duff. Always pretty, sweet, and just so
precious. Gag me with a spoon!!! Have I used the word
insipid reviewing a movie before?
The
Blonde: No, but you just used the word big uity in the
last review. And, can I borrow your spoon?!…
The
Maven: That was ambiguity…
The
Blonde: I like it my way better.
The
Maven: Good, because this movie was insipid… And no, get
your own spoon!
The
Blonde: I thought this movie was so… was so… so…you’re
right…insipid!! That’s why you’re the Maven… I was
truly annoyed at having to stay and watch this movie
that I just rooted for the evil stepmother and
stepsisters. At least they had spunk. The only thing I
have left to say is, unless you are 10 through 16 years
old, don’t waste your money. Stay home and clean, sweep,
dust, polish, wash, vacuum and scrub. At least you will
be doing something useful with your time. Just be
careful not to break a nail and moisturize your hands
after. Oh, who am I kidding?… Just go see a different
movie!
The
Maven: If it’s ok with you, I want to go back upstairs
to the Premier Restaurant in the Muvico Palace Theaters
in Boca Raton. I would order anything that Chef Adam
wants to cook for me.
The
Blonde: He is great! I just love the fine food and
service there. I also adore the general manager John,
who does everything to make everyone happy and
comfortable. The theaters upstairs are so elegant and
luxurious you will find it to be a fabulous dining and
movie-going experience.
The
Maven: It is really sad that the only enjoyable
experience we can come up with on reviewing this movie
is eating at the restaurant. I rate this movie a
D.
The
Blonde: I rate A Cinderella Story a D- and only
because I like Jennifer as much as the Maven. If you
feel you have to see this film, I recommend that you
have nothing to eat because this movie alone can make
you nauseous… I do however rate the restaurant and movie
theater an A+.
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